What the f%#$? Don’t question, just eat it. What’s better than a spreadable concoction of meat and fat? I really shouldn’t be the one to convince you this. Meat mousse only exists in my life. In the real world, it is called pâté. Usually served with bread, sliced meats, butter, life… pâté is heavenly, necessary, godly…?

Why do I love spreadable fat so much? If you have taste buds, you would too. Well, I’ve had pâté before, but not until I arrived in Vienna, Austria and tried this local grammelschmalz, did I really know the meaning of food, culture, love, fat, happiness, ecstasy…. the list goes on. Grammelschmalz, in other words goose fat, was buttery, smooth, but textured from the fat bubbles and gritty from even more fat chucks. Long story short, I was complete.

Never to return to the boring self I was, fat changed my life. Now I go on a search for that same blissful feeling I had when I first tried grammelschmalz. Here goes my search.

Taste the colors of the meat rainbow.

A lovely girls’ weekend in Seattle is exactly what I needed. Some meat and gossip. Immediately, we arrive at one of my favorite restaurants, Cafe Presse. Bring the meat please! We start with their assorted meat platter. It isn’t a trip to Seattle unless you stuff your face here. Also, it isn’t Cafe Presse for me without their grilled sardine baguette.

Hands down, my favorite sandwich in the world.

Last time I was at Cafe Presse, I had their pork chop. This time, their special was duck leg served with sauerkraut and roasted chestnuts. Sold. The sauerkraut had a sweet and tangy taste and the roasted chestnuts added an extra crunch. This isn’t a small plates kind of restaurant. This is BRING YOUR FIFTH STOMACH AND THEN SOME. Never leave without trying their main courses. Excuse my French, this is the f#$()ing awesome.

What a sexy leg you got there!

Look at that needle! Admiring the view from our hotel.

The meat journey continues at Le Pichet. The owners, who were probably just as fascinated about the meat rainbow as I was, also own Cafe Presse. Their love of French food shows in their presentation, quality, and taste! Almost everything on their meat platter is made in-house. We really enjoyed the chicken pâté and ordered more. Four baguettes and two courses later, we managed to still be able to put on our jackets.

Meat platter. Enough said.

Made from in-house. Sea salt, mustard, fresh bread are necessary.

Yes, still eating. It isn’t Le Pichet without their baked eggs with gruyere and ham, OEuf plats. However you say that in French. I’d rather not butcher it. Dip some baguette covered in butter and pâté with some yolk and cheese. Sounds like a mouthful, but you have to make every bite count! A person with no appetite aka hater would call me a ‘foodie.’ Gah, let me take my food porn and let me enjoy this meat rainbow. Whatever, if it allows me to stuff my face in meat, I’ll take it.

Yolk porn.

Who knows what one would find at the bottom of a Meat Rainbow? I hope it’s even more pâté! My quest for meat mousse continues and I hope I can return to Vienna and eat the grammalschmalz again. Until then, I am incomplete.